Going From One Child to Two

Now that I’m six weeks from my due date, I maintain asking myself the identical query time and again…

How are we going to do that?

My husband and I are over the moon, after all, about including one other candy babe to our household. However the considered feeding him each two hours, weathering postpartum restoration, and working on zero sleep, all whereas additionally caring for our two-year-old is making me nervous. These new child days already felt onerous once I needed to look after one youngster, so how do mother and father make it work after they’re caring for 2 or extra?

My different fear? Ella has spent her first two years being the middle of our lives. How is she going to really feel — and react — when she now not will get all our consideration? The thought of her being confused, unhappy or feeling forgotten breaks my coronary heart. So, to get some steering and reassurance, I reached out to 9 moms with a number of youngsters. Right here’s their recommendation…

On bonding with each youngsters:

“Within the foggy early days, you is perhaps tempted to nestle right into a love cocoon along with your new child and ship your older youngster out along with your accomplice, good friend or sitter. However whereas on maternity go away with my second son, I did the alternative: I left the infant at dwelling and took my two-year-old to the playground. Simply an hour (or much less!) by ourselves felt so good as a result of not solely did he get my full consideration, however it helped me really feel higher concerning the finish of our time simply the 2 of us.” — Jennie Tung

“Your coronary heart grows to like your kids exponentially. At first, I felt responsible that I didn’t bond sufficient instantly with Anton. I cherished my candy new child — however did I really like him with all my coronary heart and soul, like I cherished Toby? Not but. I had identified Toby for 3 stunning years and had performed with him and laughed with him and cuddled him day-after-day, and I knew every thing about him. With Anton, he was model new. It was like asking for those who’re in madly love with somebody on the primary date. However as he grew, we fell for one another, and now each kids are the nice joys of my life.” — Joanna Goddard

“One trick that helped so much within the early days: I made a particular Massive Sister Field with stickers, markers, and paper, and some new-to-her small toys. Every time I used to be busy with the infant, I’d ask my four-year-old if she wished to get out her Massive Sister Field, so she’d have one thing particular to do proper alongside us.” — Virginia Sole-Smith

Hacks for making life extra manageable:

“My good friend launched me to the idea of ‘Websites of Mutual Success’ — locations the place all family members get pleasure from going and everybody’s wants are met. For us, which means the native swimming pool, the place certainly one of us mother and father performs with the children whereas the opposite does some meditative laps, after which we swap! Or our native nature reserve the place the children can run wild and we get a stroll and recent air.” — Mel Wiggins

“Every time attainable, select ease! If it’s simpler to have the infant nap within the provider moderately than in a sound-proof nursery with black-out curtains when you’re dashing to select up the older sibling from college, try this. And if you end up unable to dedicate as a lot time to stimulating child actions as you probably did with the primary, let it go — watching their older sibling’s gymnastics class (or no matter it’s) will probably be a lot stimulating — will probably be completely different, not higher or worse.” — Maggie Pouncey

You-got-this pep talks:

“Two youngsters is multiple child, it’s true, however the very best half about having a second child is that you just’ve acquired all this built-in muscle reminiscence. I’d by no means swaddled a child earlier than my first child was born, by no means used a breast pump, by no means struggled to open a stroller whereas holding an toddler over a concrete sidewalk. Once you’re doing all of it for the primary time, parenting could be bodily awkward. The second time round, my physique knew a lot extra of what to do, and the entire expertise was much less of a shock to the system. Change a diaper at nighttime? Dealt with. ” — Erin Boyle

“If it feels, at occasions, such as you’re ranging from scratch along with your parenting talents, don’t disgrace your self by pondering you ‘ought to’ already be good at this since you’ve finished it earlier than. As a result of the reality is, each youngster is completely different, so it’s regular to typically really feel like a newbie once more.” — Destini Davis

Feeling the enjoyment:

“The primary yr after my youngest was born was wild as a result of it felt like a balancing act having a two-year-old and an toddler. However when you get out of the ‘child’ stage, the load will get simpler. And it’s a lot enjoyable when each kids become older. When the youthful one began speaking to the older one, THOSE have been some humorous conversations. And seeing them crack one another up is simply… past phrases.” — Nicole

“Enable it to be humorous. Everybody round you’ll let you know how onerous and hectic your life is, like ‘You’re within the thick of it!’ and ‘Wow, you’ve acquired your fingers full!’ Sure, having a number of small youngsters is actually tough at occasions, however it’s additionally a lot enjoyable in the course of the good components. Now each time I see a mother of multiples out within the wild, I say one thing like, ‘Ahhh, what a dream, they’re pretty.” — Caroline Chambers

What would you add? This mama is all ears!

P.S. Three phrases to say to your youngsters, 5 ideas for sibling rivalry, and Joanna talks about going from one child to 2.

(Photograph by Padillarigau Mumsonfilm/Stocksy.)